Roots Of Selfishness

Life in addiction narrowed our focus to a self-centered view of what we wanted or thought we needed.  Life in recovery is a journey to gain or regain a healthy view of life in relationship with God and others. It’s a journey of recognizing the selfish ways we lived in active addiction and seek God’s help to learn how to live considerately and kindly towards others.

Selfishness is an attitude of being concerned with one’s own interests above the interests of others. The founders of AA were not wrong when they described the selfishness problem this way:  “Selfishness -- self-centeredness!  That, we think, is the root of our troubles.  Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.  Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.  Above everything, we must be rid of this selfishness.  We must, or it kills us!”  (Big Book pages 62-63)

The Bible instructs us:  Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.  (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT)

Selfish people have difficulty seeing things from someone else's point of view.  People in addiction rarely concern themselves with what is best for the other person.  Unfortunately that mindset doesn't automatically change when we give up our destructive habits.  Unless we intentionally come to know and put into effect a healthy unselfish way of living we will simply transfer our selfish mindset to a new area of focus.  Instead of the selfish "me and my addiction" focus we will live an equally harmful "me and my recovery" self-centered life. 

While it is important to focus on our beliefs and behaviours in early recovery, it's more important that we do it from a new perspective that mirrors what God conveys to us through His word.   I am giving you a new commandment:  Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  (John 13:34 NLT)

We learn how to love others by learning how to receive the forgiveness and love God offers us through the life and death of Jesus.  As we come to know and live in the security of God’s love we find strength to live in a new unselfish way. 

©2015 Partners in Hope