Step 4 -- Relationship Foundation

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD .  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. There is no fear in love … perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. (Lamentations 3:40). (1 John 1:8,9) (1 John 4:18)  

Life in addiction was marked and shaped by a controlling and destructive relationship with a substance, a habit, or a person -- or various combinations of these. Through our addictions we sought to cover the pain of broken relationships with God, others, and ourselves.  Our chosen behaviours were rooted in self-absorption that was fuelled either by a desire to seek pleasure or avoid pain.  At some point in our search for life we began to believe that we were entitled to whatever we could get that would give us pleasure and keep pain at a distance.  We became focused on ourselves and our own needs to the exclusion of every other relationship. 

When we come to God for life in recovery we must humbly acknowledge that we don't know how to live in relationship.  We must bring a heart that is willing to learn what God intended for us when he created us for relationship.  God’s good and pleasing principles will take even this broken person who is us to a life of safe loving relationship with Him, with ourselves and with others.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  (Psalm 139:23-24)

We can learn from everything in our lives, even our brokenness but all of it must be brought to the light of God's truth and love.  It must be God who searches our hearts because only God loves us enough to name truth without condemnation.  The inventory we compile must be measured by God's principles otherwise we might make an inventory that is not based on morals.

The foundation of a searching and fearless moral inventory is, "God what does my life look like to you?  How have I strayed from that?  What needs to go?  What needs to be sought after with everything I have in me so I can really live?"