Step 9 - Taking Care As We Seek To Make Peace

Nothing takes more sensitivity and care than dealing with people with whom we have had painful experiences.  It doesn’t matter if it’s close family members or acquaintances, whether the injury happened a decade ago or ten minutes ago, we need to take great care and walk with humility as we work towards reconciliation. That’s the wisdom we are given in Step 9.

We made direct amends to such people except when to do so would injure them or others.

She [Wisdom] will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly. Proverbs 3:17-18

God has given us the ministry of reconciliation. Therefore, just as we came to God and asked His forgiveness, we now need to go to those we have harmed and ask for their forgiveness. 

It is essential that we become willing to make amends to people we have harmed.  However, we need to do so with the motive of taking responsibility for the hurt we caused and being careful to not cause further damage. 

Humility says we have much to learn.  Our part is to identify and do the work of cleaning our side of the street and then patiently walk in forgiveness until the other party is ready for more.  This is the willingness to take responsibility for the harm we have caused and the desire to make amends to which the steps call us. 

This may include embracing the need to wait until someone is ready to interact with us and certainly until they are able to offer forgiveness.  That timing is not ours to control.  Our part is to follow God’s commands, seek reconciliation, make ourselves available to it in our attitude and our actions, and then respectfully wait for the other person to take the steps they can.

I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind. Luke 6:35-36

Loving God, please show us when the time is right to make direct amends to those people we have harmed.  Also give us the grace and generosity of spirit to wait for the other party to move at their own pace in response to our overtures for peace and reconciliation.

We humbly acknowledge our inability to give and receive love with much consideration of the other person.  We want to learn from You how to love with patient and unfailing love. 

Show us the changes we need to make in the scheduling of amends, or even in our expectations of the response that will come from our amends and give us grace and peaceful hearts as we seek the good of those we have harmed. Amen 

When the time is right, and with a prayerful attitude of seeking God’s healing for the people we have harmed, God will guide each of us on this pathway to reconciliation and peace.